Tips for getting ready for the biggest, most annoying Jewish holiday of the year. That would be Pesach/Passover.

If you actually thought you were going to get that here you obviously are not a long-time reader.

I mean, seriously.

But there is a method to my Pesach-Prep madness. (And it is madness, trust me). A couple of weeks before the actual holiday (like yesterday, in this year's case) I figure out when the kitchen is going to be changed over from Chametz to Passover. I then work backwards. I'd give you the details, but to be honest, it's really not that effective.

One excellent thing that got us started this year: Isaac saw a vacuum cleaner on sale and bought it. When he came home, he immediatedly took it out of the box and spent hours vacuuming behind beds and sofas. Which is why I encourage him now to buy any home appliance he wants to.

I am clever enough to write a list every year at the end of the holiday of things I do and don't need to buy for the next year's holiday. (Gila, who inspired this post actually keeps all her lists and has a kind of time capsule of all her previous Passovers). I don't have lists for previous years, but the list contains things like, "Buy another pan for dairy" and "Don't need another turkey baster, you already have three". One memorable year, I think it was after 9/11 and I thought the world's end was imminent (I still do, actually), I titled the list "Pesach, 2003. If we make it till then."

Back to the list, delivered to you exactly as I wrote it last year:

Pesach 2010, Be'ezrat Hashem (G-d willing--I see I'm still not taking chances)

Need: 1 sharp knife for dairy
1 measuring cup
a milk pitcher (our milk comes in bags, not containers)
ONLY 1 potatoe starch
2 bags of ground nuts
3 containers of oil
DO NOT BUY COLD CUTS. NOONE EATS THEM.
3-4 bags of matzoh meal.


WE DON'T NEED

glasses (uhm, yeah, we do. We broke all our chametz glasses early this year and had to take the Pesach ones down).
wine glasses. You buy them every freaking year.
sucra-lite yellow poison packets for coffee.
cake meal
alumininum to cover sink.

I helpfully added this to myself:

Baila, don't be such a dumba** next year and read the list BEFORE you shop.

And on the side, an addition from Orli:

Don't forget to buy Orli lots and lot of clothes for Pesach.

Which reminds me how much I hate taking my girls shopping.

What's on your list?

(If you really need some Passover tips, you'd do better, here).






Yachdus is hosting Haveil Havalim here.

What's been playing on the radio

As a Shabbat/weekend present, I'm leaving you all with this song that's been in my head. Orli and her friends love this guy. Apparently my taste in music is the same as pre-teenage girls. Sophisticated, I know.

Enjoy:

Happy birthday to moi

If your a blogger, you probably understand this:

You'll be driving somewhere, or sitting on a bus or train, or laying in bed, when all of a sudden an idea for a post comes to you. You start writing the post in your head, sometimes even finishing it.

The problem is, of course, when you sit down at your computer and try to access that information stuck in your brain.

I had a birthday today and I had a post stored up there somewhere in the gray matter that was both witty, yet bittersweet, poetic yet sensible.

But then our internet went down. As in, kaput, a problem with the line somewhere outside that not even Isaac could fix. And with the internet being down, that meant my American phone line was down.

And now I don't remember that great post that was in my head.

I do have to admit that the numbers are starting to feel big. For this I'm grateful, truly I am. I just wish I still had that young, dewy look.

Several years ago, while still in the US, my madrich (counselor) from my year in Israel happened to be in town and called to say hello. He asked how old I was and I said, "38-rapidly approaching middle age", to which he said, kindly, "Lots of people don't make it to 76; I'd say you're no longer approaching the middle age mark", thereby forcing me to remind him that he is ten years older than I am.

But he was right--now I'm in the throes of middle-age (my kids wouldn't agree, they just think I'm old). In some ways I really feel my age in terms of the life experiences I've had. In other ways, I still feel really young and vulnerable. I don't know enough about the world to be the age I am, you know?

It was a good day, quiet without the internet. Gave me time to think. In Israel, there is a very sweet tradition in which the birthday person gives out blessings to those around her.

My wish for all of you is that you, too, celebrate many, many happy birthdays with those you love...

They bought the farm(ville)

I know people call it a time waster, the domain of couch potatoes and other derisive mongers, but I gotta tell you, I love Facebook. I know that I probably would not be in touch with many of my friends from different parts of my life if it weren't for Facebook. It's impossible to stay in touch with all the people that walk through the different doors of your life, but through Facebook I see what many people from my past and my present, are up to. I enjoy hearing that they are buying and selling houses, changing jobs, their children are getting married or their husbands came home from Iraq. I like that feeling of connection, of remembering that all of these people have impacted my life in ways big and small.

Still, I know that like blogging, Facebook can be addicting.

Last night I met my friends Marta and Pearl for dinner and as always when three intelligent, witty women who have known each other for years get together, the conversation was, well, intelligent, witty and I'll throw in stimulating, as well.

Most of it was anyway.

At one point we got to talking about addictions, both general and personal. We discussed whether our time on the computer keeps us from being functional in our parental and professional roles.

And then the two of them started talking about their farms. And this is where I lost them.

All of a sudden my two dear friends, city girls both, started talking about neighbors and barn-raising, about crops and gold nuggets and blue ribbons. They asked each other how many neigbors they have and what crops they were raising and what they were harvesting and selling. They talked about cows and pigs and chicken coops and compared notes on what levels they were on. Marta befriended a bunch of strangers on the Farmville Fan Page so she could have more neighbors. She chose what she described (her words, not mine) as "old, fat women, who are as pathetic as I am" to befriend in order to increase her chances of succeeding at the game. Her goal, she noted, was to reach Pearl's level. She also mentioned the merits of playing Farmville on her new 42 inch plasma TV screen, as opposed to a regular old computer screen.

And Isaac thinks I waste my time on the computer.

So what did I do after I heard this conversation? I did what any good friend would do: I introduced them to my other Farmville obsessed friend, Andrea, so the three of them can help each other out and raise barns together.

Which makes me a total enabler.

PS If any of you are crazy Farmville players and need friends, let me know, I'll be happy to make the introduction.





ImaBima has Haveil Havalim up at her site.

The long walk

After the orgy of Purim sugar, where I may just have hit rock-bottom, I decided to take control. By this I mean, no sugar, as in no Mekupelets, kif-kafs, pesek zmans, nestle's crunch bars (I think I finished all of yours, Tammy) or mentos will cross my lips for the foreseeable future.

Not exactly the Atkins Diet, but its a start.

And I'm going back to the gym/pool. Because when Isaac tells me in May (when the membership expires) that there is no money in the budget for something we don't use, I'll be able to say we use it all the time.

Today I called Monty's mother, Ilana, and asked her if she wanted to go to the gym with me. Without hesitation she said yes, which made me throw up a little in my mouth.

She offered to drive and when we arrive at the gym, she takes out two bags which make it look like she's planning on sleeping at the gym for a few days.

"What's all that?" I ask.

She tells me that after her workout she likes to shower at the gym, thereby using their water and not her own (I keep telling you water is expensive in this country, don't I?)

Which means I will have to wait for her, since I didn't bring shower stuff or clothes to change into.

How long do you work out for?, I ask her.

"One hour", she glibly answers.

ONE HOUR? I will drop dead of a heart attack, I think to myself. When she asks if it's okay, I say "Sure, no problem", but I gotta tell you, I was worried.

Thankfully, I had my headphones. All the treadmills in the gym have their own individual TV's, with cable. That was the only way I was going to get through this hour. I started walking. So did Ilana. Then she started running. I tried to ignore that. I kept walking, sometimes faster, sometimes slower. After 45 minutes I slowed the thing down to a stroll. I was watching The Chamber with Chris O'Donnell and Gene Hackman and it was getting really good. Then Ilana says she's going to shower, so I told her I'd stay and watch more of the movie. I was still walking and watching when she came back. Unfortunately, it was a short shower so I didn't get to see the end, but I assume the guy dies.

I walked for a total of 78 minutes. That, combined with another chocolate and sugar-free day and I'm feelin' pretty darn good.

And next time I use the gym's water for my shower...


PS Happy birthday to NW. I wish I was celebrating with you!

Double Celebration

Yes, it's Purim, but it's also Tali's 14th birthday.

I adore that kid. I love watching her grow into the person she is becoming. She is one of the lights of my life and I wish all her dreams come true.

Tali, may you be blessed with many, many years of health, love and friendship in your life.

I love you....

Some thoughts, as I listen to the thunder, before we sit down to eat our Purim Seudah

Purim around here starts on Rosh Chodesh Adar (the first day of the Jewish month). For the past two weeks, very little in the way of formal learning has been going on. I try to tell myself that the girls have been getting a different kind of education:

Liat's grade (11) is always responsible for the annual Yerid Chesed--a carnival they organize to raise money for charity. It's a huge project, with all kinds of activities for kids, sales of new and used stuff, food and entertainment. The girls pretty much independently find donors, organize everything, plan and execute the whole thing. I'm thrilled that Liat was very involved this year. I went to the event and it was huge. Her class raised 32,000 shekel for their chosen charity.

Tali had her "hachtarah", of which the literal translation is "coronation". This is basically a series of "Purim Spiels [skits]" and dances. She was busy at nightly rehearsals for her performance. There was also a hachtarah for school, at which the "takanon Purim" was decreed. These are rules given by the students that are strictly enforced in the week before Purim. Some of them include allowing the use of cell phones during class. Another one is if the teacher steps on a particular, unknown square in the tile floor, the rest of the period is free. Like I said, not a whole lot of formal learning.

There were costume parties, "erev kitot" [night "classes"--dinner together prepared by the girls], sing-offs and more parties.

As for me, well I've been eating chocolate.

Yesterday, the girls and I went to listen to "Zachor". I heard it 6 times, so I figure I'm covered for the next 5 years. During the main reading, it was read 4 times--one time according to the Ashkenazi tradition, then the Sefardi one, then the Yemenite one, then--and this was strange--the American tradition. I didn't realize we even had a tradition; the truth is it sounded strange to my ears.

Last night we heard megillah with friends, followed by a pot luck party. This morning we went to a women's megillah reading, very popular here in Israel.

Soon, we'll sit down to our Purim Seudah [festive meal]. Hopefully, noone will have gone into diabetic shock and we can enjoy our double celebration.

Wishing all of you who are celebrating a very happy Purim.