Ready for my Close-Up...or Don't Call Us, We'll Call You

Check out this idea for a new reality show, coming soon to an (Israeli) channel near you. A young oleh has decided that the immigration experience would make for great TV. The show is already in pre-production and will consist of four men and four women. The age criteria is 20-29, and these young people must be single. The contestants will face weekly challenges, and at the end of the show one of them will be crowned the "Ultimate Oleh" (snort!!), and will win an apartment facing Tel-Aviv's waterfront, a new car and a lucrative job. (This is a much better prize that what Naama won on the recent "Hisardut" .)

Before I read the article in the Jerusalem Post, I thought for a very brief moment about living daily with cameras following moi and moi family around as we muddled through our new lives. I imagined myself in a cute little outfit, every hair in place, preparing a real Israeli breakfast of salad, Shakshuka (eggs and tomatoes)and Gvina Levana (white cheese) as I looked out at the lemon tree growing in my garden. I imagined waking the (not so) little tykes up, as they excitedly jumped out of bed ready for the challenges of a new day of learning in a new language. I imagined myself kissing them and Isaac good-bye as they went off to school and he went off to his job in hi-tech (did you know that people in hi-tech make more money than doctors here in Israel?). Then the cameras would zoom in for a close-up on my content face as I set about doing laundry and preparing a nutritious lunch for the tykes, and of course a follow-up dinner. When said tykes return home, the cameras leave my luminous face (momentarily) for the children who excitedly tell me about their day and then we all sit down together as I very patiently help them and translate all of the work they had had that day. The children joyfully complete their homework and then call up their new Israeli friends to meet at the park where the cameras follow them as they engage in wholesome play, all in Hebrew of course. Then we all sit down to another nutritious, delicious meal as Rami the camera-man continues filming until it is time for showers, kisses good-night and bed time. All joyfully done, of course. With me still in my cute outfit.

Of course, we win the prize.

That was before I read the article, and realized that I miss (just barely!) the age criteria. Why, this is ageism! What, my life isn't as interesting as a young, single (presumably hot) oleh or olah? What are they, going to film them cavorting around at the beach or in the bars?? Harrumph! (Is that how you spell that?) I'll have you know there is plenty of drama and comedy in our household. There is even some cavorting, although I would never allow that to be filmed...

Of course, I would never allow my family to be filmed for millions of viewers to watch.

On the other hand, for some waterfront property in Tel-Aviv.....