Friday, June 6, 2008

Ready for my Close-Up...or Don't Call Us, We'll Call You

Check out this idea for a new reality show, coming soon to an (Israeli) channel near you. A young oleh has decided that the immigration experience would make for great TV. The show is already in pre-production and will consist of four men and four women. The age criteria is 20-29, and these young people must be single. The contestants will face weekly challenges, and at the end of the show one of them will be crowned the "Ultimate Oleh" (snort!!), and will win an apartment facing Tel-Aviv's waterfront, a new car and a lucrative job. (This is a much better prize that what Naama won on the recent "Hisardut" .)

Before I read the article in the Jerusalem Post, I thought for a very brief moment about living daily with cameras following moi and moi family around as we muddled through our new lives. I imagined myself in a cute little outfit, every hair in place, preparing a real Israeli breakfast of salad, Shakshuka (eggs and tomatoes)and Gvina Levana (white cheese) as I looked out at the lemon tree growing in my garden. I imagined waking the (not so) little tykes up, as they excitedly jumped out of bed ready for the challenges of a new day of learning in a new language. I imagined myself kissing them and Isaac good-bye as they went off to school and he went off to his job in hi-tech (did you know that people in hi-tech make more money than doctors here in Israel?). Then the cameras would zoom in for a close-up on my content face as I set about doing laundry and preparing a nutritious lunch for the tykes, and of course a follow-up dinner. When said tykes return home, the cameras leave my luminous face (momentarily) for the children who excitedly tell me about their day and then we all sit down together as I very patiently help them and translate all of the work they had had that day. The children joyfully complete their homework and then call up their new Israeli friends to meet at the park where the cameras follow them as they engage in wholesome play, all in Hebrew of course. Then we all sit down to another nutritious, delicious meal as Rami the camera-man continues filming until it is time for showers, kisses good-night and bed time. All joyfully done, of course. With me still in my cute outfit.

Of course, we win the prize.

That was before I read the article, and realized that I miss (just barely!) the age criteria. Why, this is ageism! What, my life isn't as interesting as a young, single (presumably hot) oleh or olah? What are they, going to film them cavorting around at the beach or in the bars?? Harrumph! (Is that how you spell that?) I'll have you know there is plenty of drama and comedy in our household. There is even some cavorting, although I would never allow that to be filmed...

Of course, I would never allow my family to be filmed for millions of viewers to watch.

On the other hand, for some waterfront property in Tel-Aviv.....

8 comments:

mother in israel said...

LOL about the cavorting.
I imagine the winner doing the following:
1. Getting through the absorption ministry with proper documents in record time.
2. Negotiating the grocery store parking lot erev yom haatzmaut.

Etc.

Emah S said...

The great part of the show will be after the show is through when the winner has to figure out the red tape of the tax offices with his newfound apartment, job and car!!!

And ps. working in high tech IS a well paid job here, but HALF of it is never seen cuz it goes to taxes! So really, my hubby for ex. is making no more than he did with a teacher salary back in Florida (one of the lowest paying states), and he has the benefit of working till 7/8pm every night. :)

but we keep smiling, right? :)

Benji Lovitt said...

Omig-d, Baila, I am DYING to do this. Where was this show for the last 2 years when I'm been suffering? I'm embarrassed on a daily basis-what do I care if more people see? : ) I emailed them that they need to take me but I'm not getting my hopes up.

Chag sameach!

mother in israel said...

My first thought when reading this was that this would be perfect for Benji.

Baila said...

Emah S.,

I know all about the high paying hi-tech job. Isaac has one--so why is every month a nail-biter?

MII, and Benji,

I also thought of Benji when I read the article. Bahn, I would definitely watch the show if you were cavorting, and there is no doubt in my mind you'd win. And end up with the babe. Don't you know someone who can help you at least audition????

Benji Lovitt said...

Well, I met the film editor of Hisardut Friday night because I'm friends with his brother. Can protectsia get me past the 20-29 age limit? WHO DO I NEED TO SLEEP WITH, DAMMIT!?!?! (crickets chirping)

muse said...

It's an "Israel is Tel Aviv," young, hip and not at all religious program. The last thing they want is a real family.

RR said...

Did you hear that there are plans to lower the income tax rate? By 2015 it's supposed to drop a bit lower. Hope this happens!!!