Monday, November 5, 2007

A Bit of a Rough Week....

I haven't written much this past week, I guess because I'm trying to keep this blog positive...and I've been feeling a bit down. I'm trying to get to the bottom of it, to figure out what's going on. I think it may be a combination of a few things:

1. I know he's only been looking for three weeks, but I really, really want Isaac to be working. I feel like I can't establish any kind of routine without him giving me a cheery "good-bye!" in the morning.

2. Orli came home with nits.

3. Ozzy came home with fleas.

4. I did this for the second time.

5. The kid's ulpan schedule is yet again being revamped. And the ulpana (Liat's school) never calls me back.

6. I'm bored.

7. I miss my American routine so much. And my friends. There. I said it. It's out in the open. Maybe I'll feel better now.

Okay, so now I'll try to analyze all of this:

1. The job: He has interviews, and is working hard at following up on all his leads. I know it will happen soon, I just want it now.

2. Nits and lice are a fact of life here in Israel. And it's so much easier to deal with here than in the states. I've been combing her (and her sisters) daily and so far so good. Really not a big deal. But it is gross.

3. Poor Ozzy. But apparently the fleas are gone after one treatment. (And Ozzy is much more cooperative than Orli when it comes to picking the critters out--I know its totally disgusting) We met a really nice-looking vet who was very reassuring (and his office was much nicer and cleaner than ol' Dr. Woof's in Cedarhurst).

4. I've accepted that I'm a complete flake.

5. In spite of the annoying issues regarding ulpan (I won't bore you all with the details), my kids are doing okay. Socially, they are making friends. They smile and laugh a lot. Even Liat, my teenager. I would say more, but I'm into the Ayin Hora thing. Suffice it to say that my kids are doing well, and while the academic portion is extremely frustrating to me, they are happy.

6. I think this relates to the fact that I haven't been working since April. I'm busy running back and forth for the kids, and they get home much earlier here than they would have in the states. But there is down time. It's to soon to think about working. The kids are still not settled in their schools. I'm doing a lot of carpooling and math tutoring with them, and feel the need to be close to home. My Hebrew is okay, but do I dare go on an interview? I think I'd like to find something that I can do for a couple of hours a week, in an office where I can be social (and work, of course), maybe something simple like data entry or something. I don't know. I'll have to deal with this issue sooner or later. I don't quite know what I want to do over here. This is an area that I definitely need to explore.

7. This is the crux of things I guess. And I know it will take time. But I feel very shaky, like its all I can do to keep from crying. And maybe I need to allow myself that....

So that's it, I guess. When I was in America my heart was here. Now I'm here, is my heart in America? Will I always be torn? Or is it just a temporary thing?

Stay tuned.


Anonymous said...

Hang in there, i've heard if you just accept the fact that the first year sucks you can deal with it better. I think I read it in someones blog.

Baila said...

SZ: okay, ill just accept that fact. doing much better today...i guess expressing it really is helpful. Are you reading alot of blogs now? Maybe you'll have to start one now!

and to CK, got your message--can't for PEOPLE, just dying to know the gender of J Lo's baby, and if Britney can overcome her drug, alcohol and (I hate to say it, but the way she looks lately) food addiction. Maybe I should also get an US to make sure I don't miss anything??? Just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

yes you got me hooked to blogs. I love becs world, a soldiers mom and just recently found Elie(i cried hysterically)

Baila said...


enjoy! but try to give some time to your family, huh? (who are you anyway?)

Stephanie said...

hi baila..i just started reading you and i love your blog. Very interesting. My husband and I are planning a trip to israel next june. We are new yorkers but we live in florida now. We don't want a tour..we want to WING IT..I love that place you are marta went with the ruins...any other suggestions for two americans who have never travelled further than a carib cruise??? You can email me at if you would like to share some good travel tips for us. thanks! and keep blogging.

Baila said...


I sent you an e-mail, but if you liked those ruins in my really not-so-great pictures, you must go see it for real, and you also have to go see Ir David (City of David) in Jerusalem and of course, Massada. If you like ruins, Israel is THE place to see, because they are to you later.

bec said...

don't feel so bad about the nits and stuff. my daughter got them in late september/october and then i may have told you, my son got them FIVE days before his upsheren. ugh.
and while our dog didn't get fleas, i did.
strangely, i know a lot of people who have been feeling down this week, myself included. somebody said it might be the weather change....
hang in there.

Baila said...


how did you get fleas? maybe i have them too? and you're right the nits aren't a big deal. thanks for understanding!

mother in israel said...

I have a post called "Guide to Israeli Vermin" that will answer all of your questions!!

You will make new friends, your life will be here, you will enjoy going back but it won't be the same. But you will always miss your old culture and friends.

mother in israel said...

PS Have you read my aliyah story? (second post on my blog). It's hard to top that for a bad first 12 weeks. But my husband had a job at least, thank God. Behatzlacha with that!

Baila said...

thanks, mom!